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Question: I'm a 19 year old guy studying at college in UK and there is a girl who i've seen around at the college, mainly in the library. I would like to approach her but have no clue what to say & i'm afraid she might laugh at me for trying to speak to her. I have no confidence & i'm afraid the girl has noticed my attention / interest because she's caught me looking a few times..
How do i approach her & what do i say ?
Answer: The best thing to do is to approach right away and just make conversation about something random and/or relevant to what you're doing, like if it's in a library, maybe ask about the book she's looking at or see what project she's trying to do. If you know something about the subject, so much the better. Either way, crack a joke, that usually helps.
It's important not to sit around in the shadows staring because you might be branded as creepy because quite frankly, it kinda is. You'll ruin your chances doing that.
The easiest base case scenario is to approach, ask her name and find out what school programme she's taking and talk about that.
It's really important to read her body language. If she seems distracted or busy or uninterested, just keep it short and simple and split. She will appreciate you respecting her space and her emotions. She might even approach you later some other day when she sees you and apologize for being "in a mood" earlier. The key is don't overstay your welcome. Make her aware of your existence and only hang around so long as she's interested.
I'll tell you right off the bat, the most difficult thing to get past is your own ego. If you put too much energy or hope into one particular chance encounter, you will just be doing yourself a disservice. If you get upset with rejection, you'll waste years of your life getting over it.
Just think of it as a learning experience and get practice. Just like anything you'll probably fail a few times at first, or maybe even a lot. Just look at Boomhauer from the TV show "King of the Hill". He fails all the time, but also succeeds a lot too. Now I'm not saying use him as a role model, but just don't get down when you mess up. In fact, make fun of it and you'll turn failure into a win.
If you make approaching women out to be a "life or death" situation then it will be. If it's just a fun hobby, then that will show. Think about it. Which would you rather be around? Someone who's in "life or death" mode or someone who's having a good time with their hobby?
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Da Roo
Life is the solution to a problem that has no definition
Last Online: 2010-08-27 12:32 PM
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