Dear Categorizing,
Here is a short list of the different dating personalities I've encountered, many of which you've probably seen yourself.
A. Skittish freak - Runs away at the slightest thing which is "offensive". There are so many of these hidden triggers that unless you're talking about the weather constantly, you'll be gone, outta there, like a dot on the horizon (some weather patterns are off limits - ie: rain, sleet and tornadoes). You have so many people on your block/delete list that your computer is struggling to keep running and your hard drive is full trying to keep track of it all.
B. Angry psycho - At the drop of a hat you will fly into a violent rage, screaming, yelling, sometimes even getting seriously physically abusive. You will just as quickly fly out of the rage, and wonder why the guy you're with looks terrified. If you spend more time yelling than speaking at a normal volume, you may be this type.
C. Paranoid schizo - You think everybody is intending something derogatory, when they're really just trying to discuss where to go for lunch. You have probably called the police to report a stalker because someone called you back when there was no answer the first time. You lie constantly to everybody about everything in case the truth might be used against you. Nobody knows your real birthday.
D. Gold digging Harlot - You think that this dating site is your personal shopping mall for men. You are annoyed because it doesn't have a place to indicate annual salary. The first question out of your mouth is "what do you do for work?". Anyone who answers with less than doctor, lawyer, CEO, or philandering inheritee is immediately ignored, but not blocked, in case they later invite you out to a fancy restaurant or ask what type of jewelery you like. You're not superficial at all; you will date and even sleep with totally unattractive guys, so long as they have a nice car that you can steal.
E. Asocial Internet Dater - You believe that socializing with a computer is the same thing as meeting real people in the real world. You think that people you chat with regularly on MSN are your "friends" even though you've never met them, nor do you have any intention to. You might consider taking the big step and having an "internet marriage" at some point, but that's a little too big of a commitment at this point.
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