Copyright © 2007 Drew Mcpherson
The first thing you need to know about dating men is that men are idiots. You've probably figured this out by now, but you may not have figured out to just what extent they truly are moronic self-defeating beings. Failure to realize this will result in frustration and anger, which your man will react to in exactly the wrong way (being the dufus that he is), resulting in even more upset.
Most men are really very simple and uncomplicated, which can be boring, but there are healthy ways that you can spice it up that doesn't involve nagging and drama. Keep in mind that all a typical man cares about is food and sex. Beyond that he doesn't know much about how to connect with you emotionally or intellectually and doesn't recognize the subtle social cues you give off or how to engage in witty nonverbal banter. Some of them make a half-assed attempt at it by playing mind games. While this is a step in the right direction, it is obviously along the brambly path of annoyance, rather than the jovial happy flower trail of satisfaction. This will keep you happy for a while, but tires you out very quickly and is not a lasting situation.
If it is going to work, you've got to put in the effort to condition your man into behaving like a respectable human specimen. For instance, you can engage in clever and witty social interplay that plays upon his favourite activities, eating and sex. Provide incentives in the form of rewards for good behaviour. For instance, tell him that if he cleans up the garage and takes out the garbage, you will cook him a nice meal and have incredible sex with him, rather than letting him eat hot dogs over the sink and have a date with “PALMela” later on. Remember that while men are stupid, they are like rats. They are not as intelligent as rats, but they can be trained in a similar fashion with rewards and punishments. Most women make the mistake of providing only punishments, which results in the chronic nagging that tends to backfire. Think of it like raising a big dumb hairy child. The best way to raise a child is to provide mostly rewards for good behaviour, and only punishment for really particularly bad things.
Make sure to provide the reward AFTER the good deed has been done, or else your man won't complete it with the enthusiasm of imagining his future reward. You can use this technique to get your lazy dumb slug of a beast into the habit of doing all sorts of routine but important tasks. Also, the satisfaction of the reward will be more pleasing for both. He will feel a sense of accomplishment of having worked towards the goal and achieved it. You will feel a sense of accomplishment of having done a good job conditioning him. You will also be pleased that he appreciates your efforts at mealtime or in the bedroom so much that he is motivated to do whatever it takes. Making him happy, as big and dumb as he is, does have a certain appeal to it. Much like when you give treats to your hamster or dog, there is pleasure to be gained from doing the same for your man.
Keep in mind however, that he will mess up from time to time, especially in the beginning. So give him a little leeway and if certain conditioning techniques aren't working, switch it up a little. Experiment with what really motivates him and find creative ways to use that to keep things running smoothly. This will stimulate your intellect and when it succeeds and your happy man falls into your arms at night fully satisfied, your heart will be warmed. Don't think of a relationship so much as having a partner who is an equal on your level. There are so many differences in the genders that this can never be the case. However, it is not like your man doesn't have any merits either. He can do certain things that you can't, and provides good companionship at night. Like an ox, he is useful for making your life easier by performing physical tasks, and like a puppy dog he is good for being a cuddly bedmate. Beyond that, don't expect too much or you may be disappointed. You wouldn't be upset if your chihuahua can't speak spanish, so work with what you've got and for God's sake, please don't give your man too much credit :)
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