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Dating personality types
Dear Categorizing,
Here is a short list of the different dating personalities I've encountered, many of which you've probably seen yourself.
A. Skittish freak - Runs away at the slightest thing which is "offensive". There are so many of these hidden triggers that unless you're talking about the weather constantly, you'll be gone, outta there, like a dot on the horizon (some weather patterns are off limits - ie: rain, sleet and tornadoes). You have so many people on your block/delete list that your computer is struggling to keep running and your hard drive is full trying to keep track of it all.
B. Angry psycho - At the drop of a hat you will fly into a violent rage, screaming, yelling, sometimes even getting seriously physically abusive. You will just as quickly fly out of the rage, and wonder why the guy you're with looks terrified. If you spend more time yelling than speaking at a normal volume, you may be this type.
C. Paranoid schizo - You think everybody is intending something derogatory, when they're really just trying to discuss where to go for lunch. You have probably called the police to report a stalker because someone called you back when there was no answer the first time. You lie constantly to everybody about everything in case the truth might be used against you. Nobody knows your real birthday.
D. Gold digging Harlot - You think that this dating site is your personal shopping mall for men. You are annoyed because it doesn't have a place to indicate annual salary. The first question out of your mouth is "what do you do for work?". Anyone who answers with less than doctor, lawyer, CEO, or philandering inheritee is immediately ignored, but not blocked, in case they later invite you out to a fancy restaurant or ask what type of jewelery you like. You're not superficial at all; you will date and even sleep with totally unattractive guys, so long as they have a nice car that you can steal.
E. Asocial Internet Dater - You believe that socializing with a computer is the same thing as meeting real people in the real world. You think that people you chat with regularly on MSN are your "friends" even though you've never met them, nor do you have any intention to. You might consider taking the big step and having an "internet marriage" at some point, but that's a little too big of a commitment at this point.
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Da Roo
Life is the solution to a problem that has no definition
Last Online: 2009-11-21 2:08 PM
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Blonde in a snow storm
While driving during a horrible snowstorm, a young blonde became disoriented and lost. She remembered what her father had once told her. ”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, ”Well, I’m done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.”
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Alicia Jennings
I am ALLINATER the ADMINISTRATER
Last Online: 2008-12-16 11:25 PM
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The Coffin
The coffin stood open in the middle of the room. The wake goers were laughing, sharing stories, and toasting the name of the kind and gentle old Irish man. In the corner slouched a boy who was no longer a boy but still not quite a man. He wondered why he had bothered to come. He barely knew the old man; they had worked together at the mill for the past two years but this didn’t make them close friends by any means. There were several instances over the past couple years where the old man had shared his meagre lunches with the boy who had had nothing to bring. The small wages he earned at the mill went to his mother to buy a little food and help take care of his younger and brothers and sisters. The old man had always been very kind to him, sharing whatever he had.
Was this any reason to feel so torn up inside? He hadn’t felt this way when his own father had passed away a year before. But then again he could never remember his father showing him such warmth, not even as a wee boy. Never had he and his father shared a loaf of bread and a chunk of cheese while laughing and talking, telling stories and jokes. This man was more a father to him then his own had ever been.
This was the man who took him under his wing when he was just a boy, with an ailing father and a mother with young children at home to feed. The old man had taught him all he knew about working at the mill. He wasn’t harsh when the boy made a mistake. He was patient and understanding with only words of encouragement to give.
Tears began to flow from the boys eyes. The old man had been his only support, his only helping hand, his only listening ear and now he was gone. The boy pulled himself to shaky legs and stumbled across the room. He threw himself onto the coffin and cried out “oh father how could you leave me, who can I turn to now.” The room had went silent, the wake goers watched the boys out pouring of grief, no one was quite sure what to do or say to comfort him.
Then a voice rang across the room. It was soft, sweet, and carried with it the scent of lilacs and buttercups. “maybe” said the voice “you could find a new friend to turn to.”
The boy looked up, the people parted and from a musty corner appeared a girl. A beautiful girl with long golden blonde hair that looked as though it had been woven by angels. “Would you like someone to talk to” and she held out a hand that looked as though it was as soft as the worlds finest silks. Wiping tears from his eyes he reached for her hand, she stepped forward and took his in hers and together they walked from the dark and dusty room into the sunlight.
As they left the boy asked who she was. She replied that she was the same as everyone else, a person looking for someone to talk to and someone to listen to. The boy accepted this answer in silence knowing that there was plenty of time to learn all there was to know about this beautiful girl.
The wake goers watched the boy and girl leave, disappearing into the rays of the slowly sinking evening sun. They did not know what to make of what happened so they went back to their drinking and toasting, the memory of the boy and girl quickly slipping away.
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Alicia Jennings
I am ALLINATER the ADMINISTRATER
Last Online: 2008-12-16 11:25 PM
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